Well I am sitting here trying to figure out what I ought to do. I have one person wanting me and my wife to move across the USA and come to Washington State and another person wants us to move to Ohio. So I have been trying to figure out what is the right thing to do. I always heard people say "do what you thing is the best for you." Well I would do that but I no longer know what is best for me. Hell I no longer what is right for me. I have always done stuff to make other people happy which in result made me get rid of alot of stuff. Well I have done that for so long that I no longer know what makes me happy. The last thing I done that made me happy was meeting and marring my wife. Oh that was a happy day and I stayed that way for awhile. Then I had to start helping my mom with payment on her house becuase my asshole of a father got another loan on in with out telling anyone and left it to my mom to pay it. So now I am no longer happy. I am afraid of when we have money. it is like my family knows. I guess after helping for so long it does hurt. There are times I am glad that we don't have money but that doesn't last long for then we have to sell to stuff. I have had a few games and games systems that I had to sell just so that my mom could get her medicane or my sister can get a few things for my nephew that he needs. I have had some good paying jumps when i was young. I have nothing to show for it becuase my father was stealing my money. well I guess this is all for now. mostly becuase i am getting suicidel thoughts in my head and when that happens i have to find something else to do to keep my mind off of it.